How to Find a Good Man
Men talking to woman at bar

How to find a Good Man!

I knew I could grab your attention with a title like that. Single ladies saw that heading like it was a flashing neon sign and immediately wanted to know how and where they could go and get one, like a good man was a gallon of milk at your local convenience store just waiting to be bought. Only if it was that simple huh?

Having asked several different women where were the good men?

They all quickly replied that they were either liars, womanizers, financially crippled, bad credit, lived at home with their mama, incarcerated, homeless, drug addiction, HIV+, on the “down low” or just had “baby mama drama”.
So seeing that what women were saying about the men I was definitely thankful that wasn’t my dilemma or like many, I too would be scared to date.

I thought to myself this couldn’t be true. Could it? I had been in relationships over the years and while I hated to admit it, I had come across those men they described at some point. I did not want to believe all men were bad, so I decided to conduct my own little investigation.

Speaking with a lot of different woman in various age categories and different races, I learned they have all been unsuccessful in finding a good man. Why? Was the question that plagued me. I observed that many women made common mistakes when it came to dating;

  • Thinking they can find Mr. Right in a bar/nightclub.
  • Dressing provocatively thinking this will get a man’s attention (It does, just not the attention you are seeking).
  • Believing that it is all right to go home with a man you just met and sleep with him because he was fine and you only live once.
  • Playing too many games and or being inconsistent.
  • Carrying around emotional baggage from the past failed relationships.

Those were the most frequent errors that I had observed, but it doesn’t just stop with that either.

Something else just as troublesome was ladies wanting this altogether perfect man when they aren’t that put together themselves. I suggest putting the shoe on the other foot. Are you in the same situation that you are seeking from a mate? In some cases, the ladies aren’t. What I am essentially saying is try to bring something to the table of mutual interest besides what is between your thighs! Ouch! Yeah, I said it and there is no disrespect intended but there is someone reading this that needed to hear it.

Speaking of sex, which is the numero uno mistake that I see, a lot of ladies are willing to settle for being the sloppy seconds of becoming a side chick. Often believing that if you make yourself available to this man he will eventually realize that you are the “one”…NOT!!

The only thing he will realize is that you are the one to call for sex and if you keep trying to act as if you have anything more than a prearranged sexual relationship he will cut that off as well! This is where all of those unanswered texts and calls start to appear.

So what I am principally trying to convey is… Before you step out into the dating scene seeking a suitable mate, Check yourself first. In order to find a man and love him unconditionally, first love yourself unconditionally. With a formula like that you can’t lose, self-love is the BEST love. So moving forward when you do step out, you are putting your best foot forward! This is not just limited to the females… but males too.

OK…Stepping off my soapbox…until next week that is…lol

Kisha Green is an author who has a passion for writing and sharing her witty personality about life, love and everything else in between with many through social media. For more info about Kisha, visit her website and you can also follow her on Instagram and Twitter- @KishaGreen



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